I have slowly been easing my way back into the metaverse, poking around, doing some shopping, and posting over on Izzy Chic, my fashion blog.  I was in-world this weekend going through my "away" messages when I saw one from the Lounge of Dreams employee group; Petra Paderborn needed someone to cover for her the coming Sunday's 6-8pm shift.  I considered for a brief moment, then fired off a notecard to Pet (who was no longer online) offering to take the spot if no one else had yet stepped up.  I figured if it was meant to be, the spot would still be open and I could resume my hosting duties in at least some form.  Petra came back with an excited and thankful note and that was it - I would be hosting again for the first time in many months.

Before I knew it, Sunday had arrived and I logged in with about 30 minutes to get ready for my come-back hosting gig.  Getting ready is one of my favorite parts of any SL event; I love going through my inventory and putting together the "perfect" outfit for the occasion.   It was Gender Bender for the theme, so I put on some gray slacks, black button-up shirt, and dark gray blazer.  I kept it simple but sexy, silver hoop earrings, but some sexy, spiky black boots.  I completed the look with a very short, sleek bob cut and a make-up with blackened eyes and red, red lips.  I opened up Notepad and typed up a few general, host-worthy text statements (about tipping, contributing to tier, posting to the LoD Flickr group , etc.) for ease of cut & paste, carefully worded the group notice to send out to our VIP members, and affixed my "Dreams Host" tag firmly above my pretty, virtual head.

I wasn't nervous, instead I was quite psyched.  It was my first time hosting in the new build at Baylor's Haunt (which is amazing, go now and check it out if you haven't yet) and I was excited to get up on the spotlighted, ultra-cool hosting stage.

What can I say?  It was amazing to be back and the warmth and genuine excitement I got in the many "welcome backs!" and "we missed you, Izzy!"s thrown my way made me smile.  When Guen - who was temporarily DJing until our resident tiger DJ, Phant Nabob, made it in - welcomed me back over the stream and said how much I had been missed, I'll admit, I got teary-eyed.  Silly, no?

I suppose one might think I am not as dedicated to my secondary, virtual life because I am not as invested in it as some of my friends.  My attention wanes frequently from one interest to another, but I always come back to my favorites.  Before my grandfather passed, I was really getting seriously back into SL with my fashion blog, Izzy Chic, and (so far incomplete) photo blog, Izzy Pics .  Leaving was not really my choice, but I simply did not have it in me to be social or interact with anyone.  I even rarely talked to my beloved Rosie over instant messenger during the past few months.  It does not mean I love her - or any of you - any less.  Just that, as I know you all understand, I needed some me-time to go in, reflect, and begin to heal.  Death affects us all differently and I regret receding into myself instead of reaching out to those that care and would want to help me; yet, that is how I deal with traumatic events.  I internalize.

I know I don't have to explain any of this or make excuses; rl > sl, as we all know.  I know that you all understand; perhaps, and sadly, all too well.  I don't want to be a gloomy-gus and bring this post down so I'll stop right there.  What I am really trying to say is that I am glad to be back and I have missed all of my beloved SL friends very much.  You are all very special to me and I feel so honored to be associated with such amazing, creative, and beautiful people.  I have asked Petra to tentatively put me back on the schedule (looking at Wednesdays), and I hope they have some openings that I can take.  I really do want to come back in and be a part of the LoD family again, and a part of SL period.

Thanks all of you for caring and being just so totally awesome!